Politicians.

We have a bit of a problem with our politicians being disgraced, indicted, and passing laws that well and truly screw us. Luckily, this is a pretty easy fix.

First, anytime someone runs for office, the attorney general of their state will launch an immediate probe into them for anything they have vowed to fight. If a politician vows to be a beacon in the fog of corruption, we will tap their phones and dig into their finances. If they claim to hate homosexuality or any form of sexual impropriety, they will be tailed to see if they are coming onto underage staffers or cruising in public restrooms. If they are running on a campaign restoring dignity to an office, they will be tested for any signs of dignity.

Believe me, this will save us a lot of re-elections and emergency appointments.

Second, as stated before, no politician will be able to vote on a bill unless they can prove they understand what it means.

Finally, all lobbyists will be sent to companies for medical, pharmaceutical, and beauty product testing, replacing the animals they currently use, thus helping solve the problem of animal cruelty.